Welcome to my smash diaries were every week I take a look at the upcoming Super Smash Bros title for Nintendo Switch, otherwise known as Smash 5. This week I wanted to take a look at a handful of characters who could make it into smash, but don't fit any particular category.
Banjo & Kazooie
Once upon a time, Nintendo owned a game developer named Rare and together they made great games. Now rare makes Kinect sports and mediocre pirate games. One of Rare’s most important characters was Banjo and his friend Kazooie. They make too much sense for smash. They can punch and kick. Kazooie has a beak that can hurt people. For their final smash, they could build a car like they did in Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. Then the car could fall on the nearest player and hurt them a lot.
Banjo and Kazooie aren't Nintendo characters. They belong to Rare and Microsoft owns Rare. Outside of Nintendo buying Microsoft, the only way they're getting in is if Microsoft let's them. Lucky for us, Xbox Head Phil Spencer wants them in Smash. I think that's enough to get them in honestly. Nintendo would have a huge third party character for their game and Microsoft would get some good PR after a generation of poor exclusives and even poorer sales.
Newcomer: Banjo and Kazooie
Category: Third-Party/Classic
Likelihood: Leans Entry
Ridley (Metroid Series)
Okay. I know what you're saying. It's the argument heard time and time again with this guy. Ridley is too lanky to be in smash. People have said for years that Ridley would need to beef up before he join the rest of the bros to smash. Lucky for us, Metroid: Other M bulked him up a bit and I think with a little creative freedom, Ridley would have enough muscle to smash with the best.
Ridley would basically play like Charizard, but a lot better. Ridley can, of course, fly. He can also breathe fire and use his claws to deal massive damage. For his final smash, Ridley can stare at his opponent and force them to freeze from PTSD. This is a move he used against Samus in Metroid: Other M before they fought. Then Ridley can hit them for more massive damage.
Ridley has been a boss character for the past two games so I suggest replacing him with another Metroid villain. The best choice would be Meta-Ridley from Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Meta-ridley would be a lot like regular Ridley except he's a boss character and is metal.
For his chances, Ridley is almost guaranteed to be in the next game. Fans have begged Nintendo to put him in Smash Bros since the opening cutscene of Melee showed him. Metroid needs new characters and he qualifies as a villain, something smash desperately needs. Now that he's bulked up for smash, he’s perfect for the series.
Newcomer: Ridley
Category: Classic
Likelihood: Likely (80%+)
Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
The question here is how has Sora not been confirmed for Smash 5. Sora is the most popular character from a series that mixes Final Fantasy and Disney. He uses the coolest sword ever (sorry nerds. The keyblade is a sword!). And most importantly, Sora has starred in some of the highest rated video games on Nintendo handheld systems that have the words “Kingdom” and “Hearts" in the title.
Sora would be a very different fighter from every other character in smash. Using his keyblade he could be the crap out of other character before shooting out a fireball from the tip of his keyblade. Sora would be a hard fighter to take down since his shoes are so big. These large shoes give him a strong base that would make it difficult to knock him off the stage. Sora’s alt costumes could feature different keyblades including the coolest, Oblivion. Sora’s final smash could only be a love letter to the series. The screen would go black while “simple and clean” began playing. Sora could emerge from the darkness (a nod to the kingdom hearts series being about reaching out from the darkness into the light). Alongside Sora would be King Mickey, Goofy, Donald, Kiri, Rikku, Leon (NOT SQUALL), and Cloud (Cloud is cut for Sora btw.) They could all scream “Kingdom Hearts” or “ナットはいつも正しい” in the Japanese version before every fighter is knocked off the stage four times.
Sora basically has a reserved spot in smash 5. Square needs a rep and Cloud is just too lame and does nothing in a Nintendo game. Sora has had four major releases on Nintendo consoles and it's likely that Kingdom Hearts 3 will be announced for Switch at E3. The bigger question is whether or not Kingdom Hearts will receive 1 or 2 stages at this point.
Newcomer: Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Category: Third Party
Likelihood: Confirmed
Sans (Undertale)
I honestly don't know why I'm writing this. Sans was in the smash reveal. If you look in the background you'll see Sans standing next to Kirby and Donkey Kong. So the question becomes, how will Sans play?
Sans will likely use his fists to punch people and perhaps his feet to kick. I can not current confirm this. Sans also like to break the fourth wall a lot. One of his special moves could be him breaking a literal wall and the rubble hitting the opponent's weak spot for massive damage. Sans final smash would obviously be his final form from Undertale, the best game ever made. He would turn into a giant skeleton and then take a huge bone and hit everyone really hard. The hardest aspect will be making Sans balanced since he's so strong.
Hopefully Sans best friend and Gary lover, Papyrus, also makes it into smash 5. We could also have an undertale stage that fills with determination as the battle goes on. Another idea would be for enemies to attack the other players if they don't like undertale as much as me.
Newcomer: Sans
Category: Indie
Likelihood: 110%
PewDiePie (Youtube)
It only makes sense. Pewdiepie is the biggest youtuber in the galaxy. He has 61 million subscribers currently. The super smash bros series has sold 40 million units across 5 games. The numbers don't lie. Pewdiepie is bigger than smash bros. His inclusion as a playable fighter would be a huge boost for the series.
Scott, my friend, says Pewdiepie should be a reskin of Capt Falcon. Scott is wrong and he has a crush on Ms. Fields the 8th grade social studies teacher. While Scott is wrong and should give me back my iPad, but pewdiepie should have some similarities to Capt Falcon. Instead of the falcon punch, Pewdiepie can use his bro fist to hurt enemies. He could also use the bro kick, a new move I made up. For costumes, you obviously have to go with his classic and new look. I don't normally mention taunts here, but Pewdiepie could call his opponent the N-word just like in his videos. After that, the opponent and teammates would lose all their revenue as advertisers pull support from the platform. For his final smash, pewdiepie can use his diamond play button to smash the stage before yelling out “PEWWWWW DEEEEE PIEEEEEE".
If you're still reading at this point, I'm honestly concerned. It's kind of weird that you've read this far. I don't know what to say other than: April Fool’s.
Newcomer: PewDiePie
Category: YouTube
Likelihood: 11 eggs out of a dozen
Thanks for reading this entry of my smash diaries. I'll be back next week with a new entry covering pokemon.
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